IA Charity

In Physics class, Mr. Lyons is teaching when we hear a knock on the door. He opens it to find a junior girl carrying rather large box.
Girl: Hi, Mr. Lyons! We're having a toiletries drive and I was hoping I could leave this box in your room to let people donate items.
Mr. Lyons: Sure! You can put it right here by the trash can! So where are the items going?
Girl: Um... In the box?
Mr. Lyons: (after he stops laughing) Yeah, I mean after they go in the box.
Girl: (realizes her gaffe) Oh! hehe... yeah... The lighthouse...

Tow Truck

(I had just told an IA story, and everyone was laughing)
Student A: Hahahaha...wow...Oh wait! I think I can beat that! OK so this one time, my mom, sister, and I were at the store and when we came out, our car wouldn't start. We tried to fix it and couldn't, so we called a tow truck. While we were waiting in the car, my sister suddenly said, "Hey! Why don't we pull up to where the tow truck can see us better!"

German Condiments

(In Spanish class: While talking to Student A in Spanish, I have just used the word alemán, meaning 'German')
Student A: Alemán? What's that mean?
Me: German.
Student A: Oh. One time, on a vocab quiz a while ago, I put that it meant mayonnaise. I mean, it sounds like a brand name, doesn't it? Alamayonnaise! I like it!
Me: Wow. Nice.

Goodbye Pen!

Student A: Lemme see if I can throw this into that trash can over there.
Me: OK, go for it!
Student A: (Throws, makes the shot)
Me: Nice! What was that, anyway?
Student A: It's a pen! Oh, shoot! (Runs to trash to see if there is any hope of retrieval, and upon realizing the difficulty of the situation, decides it's not worth it and returns)

Crayons taste like...

A question on the chem midterm (written by Mr. Davies):

What do crayons taste like?
A. Wax
B. Purple
C. Marshmallows
D. I never eat anything in the lab

NCAA

In American Studies, we were discussing former slaves' rights after the Civil War. We had to create a political cartoon about the topic we were studying, and Sibby was presenting his. He was showing an illustration: a map of the U.S. was on fire, and a black man was running away, toward a labeled hut. (The label was too small to read.)
Sibby: So, the U.S. was in a really bad condition, and the ex-slave is running to the hut, which represents the NCAA.
Student A raises his hand and asks: Sibby? I think you mean the NAACP.
Sibby: Oh... ! Yeah... Well... (Runs back to his desk, grabs a pencil, scribbles something) Yeah, so, anyway...

Hi there!

Student A: Zdrasvitye
Student B: Bonsoir
Student A: Wie gehts?
Student B: Bien, y tu?
Student A: good, thanks.

Walk the plank!

In Chior, before class has started:
Me: Hi, Student A!
Student A: Bye.
Me: ¡Hola!
Him: ¡Adios!
Me: Bonjour!
Him: Au revoir!
Me: Ahoy!
Him: Uh... Walk the plank?

Moose's Cake!

(In American Studies)
Me: Student A, do you have anything super-exciting to tell me?
Student A: No.
Me: Are you sure?
Student A: Yes.
Me: Student B, do YOU have anything super-exciting to tell me?
Student B: No.
Me: O c'mon! Someone must have something super-exciting to tell me!
Moose: Well, I tried to bake a cake over the weekend. I burnt it. I even got that Betty Crocker cake mix, but I'm no good at cooking. I didn't know what to do, so I tried something, and it was too hot and I left it in too long, and I burnt it.
Me: Didn't you smell it burning?
Moose: No, I was downstairs.
Me: Well you're not supposed to leave it there!
Moose: I wasn't gonna stand there for 20 minutes! Anyway, after I had messed up, I went on the Internet to find out what I did wrong, and it said there were directions on the back of the box. I turned it around, and there were. Huh.
Me: Student A, you could learn something from Moose. Not about baking, but about being super-exciting.

The Teletubbies are Evil!

In Fisix club:
Me: Hey everyone, look! I can mathematically prove that the Teletubbies are evil! A lot of time and money are put into the Teletubbies, so T=tm. Time is money, so t=m. Substitute in m for t in the first equation, and you get T=m^2. Money is the root of all evil, so m=root(evil). Square both sides: m^2=evil=T. T=evil, Teletubbies=evil.
Fisixians A-D: Wow! Cool! That's awesome! (etc.)
Harvey: Actually, Josh, it would be Teletubbies equals plus-or-minus evil.

IAtionary: Fisixian

Fis-ix-i-an [Fiz-IKS-ee-an] n.

1. Any member of the Fisix Club; Hi, fisixians and welcome to Fisix club!
2. Physicist, occasionally used to refer to another who is involved with the study of Physics
3. The language and/or vernacular used by fisixians to communicate more efficiently with each other; usually impossible to make out by the untrained ear
Language of origin: Fisixian

IAtionary: Fisix

Fis-ix [FIZ-iks] n.

1. Physics, when referring to the club
2. Physics, occasionally used to refer to the class or the science itself; Sorry, I can't come over and play Super Smash Bros. Brawl tonight, I have fisix homework.
Language of origin: Fisixian

Physics 2

Another problem on the freshmen physics homework:
Mr. E. (economics teacher), after loudly stating that micro-economics is more fun than physics, spots a large, angry mob of physics students running at him. They are exactly 10 meters away, traveling at a constant speed of 10 m/s. Mr. E. accelerates at .20 m/s^2. How long until they reach him?

Physics 1

A problem on the freshmen physics homework:
Mr. Giromini (the IA physics teacher) is at the top of a 50 meter tall cliff, with a large boulder. You are standing at the bottom. Mr. Giromini pushes the boulder off the side, and it accelerates to the ground. Ignoring air resistance, calculate how long you have to live.

Yes, I did spell it 'Physics.' 'Fisix,' for the most part, only refers to the club.

Ay...Those names!

I was working in a small group, and had forgotten one of my partner's names. He had told me several times, and I was ashamed that I forgot again. He looks very Chinese, so I figured that it is probably hard to pronounce, and that I could get away with asking him how to say it.
Me: Excuse me, but how do you pronounce your name again?
Him: Alex.

The Case of the Disappearing Door

On a sign on the no longer used 2nd door to the teacher's lounge:
"This is no longer used as a door."
Written underneath in pencil:
"Is it a wall, then?"

IAtionary: Mad Skillz

Mad Skillz [MAD-skĭlz] n.

1. The ability to solve a Rubik's Cube in under 2:30; Wow! That was amazing! You got mad skillz!
Language of origin: Qatuese- Mad meaning 'great, fantastic' and Skillz meaning 'skills'

Sign on the door

Anywhere else, the sign on the teacher's lounge door would simply say "Do Not Disturb." ONLY AT IA would it say:

"This may look like a normal door, HOWEVER, it is really a very private door. So please be so kind as NOT to knock on this door."

Why? Why not?

On a poster hung all over the school:

The first annual...
IA Underwater Pumpkin Carving Contest!

When: (says the time and date)
Where: (name of pool)
Why: Because anyone can carve a pumpkin above water!!!

Rain

It's raining quite hard, and has been for a few hours. Students A, B, and C walk in, drenched. Student D asks: "Omigosh! You went outside!?"
Student A replies: No!!! Its pouring out, and we're wet because we were BOBBING FOR APPLES!!!"

Mr. Ortiz's Math Rap

Note one of the most interesting statements:
"If this shows up on YouTube, I'm comin' for YOU!" Oh well!

Fisix Club T-shirts

Only at IA would students vote for a Fisix Club shirt that says "May the MA be with you." (For you non-nerds, Force= Mass times Acceleration- Newton's Second Law of Motion.)

P.S. Only at IA would this shirt win!

P.P.S. Actually we changed it up a bit- it ended up saying "May the g(m1 x m2/r^2) be with you;" that's the formula for gravitational force.

That's a load of bull

Only at IA would the teachers seriously consider renting a mechanical bull as an event in Olympics.

P.S. No, that didn't actually happen, but the fact that it was considered is enough for me!

Rubik's Cubes Galore

Student A walks into Product Team holding a Rubik's Cube, bringing the count in the room to about 5 (between 15ish students).
Student A: At other schools, it's "kids, put the PSP's away," or "Don't make me confiscate that cell phone," but ONLY AT IA is it "Put the Rubik's Cubes away, or I'm gonna have to take them!"

Speech Class 2

Wow speech class was fun. Anyway...

We were having a discussion about which Nintendo Wii games we have played, and how we liked them.

Student A: I played (Insert game title here), and I liked it!
Student B: I played (Insert another game title here), and it was awesome!
Only at IA would Student C quietly raise her hand and say: Which is the game where you throw the remote at the TV and break it?

Speech Class 1

Only at IA does a student, in speech class, during the first snowfall of the year, sit at his/her desk for about 20 min., quietly doing work, when, suddenly, (s)he looks up, sees the huge window in front of her, and exclaims, "ITS RAINING SNOW!!!"

Paramecium

(You need a touch of background info for this one: I like the TV show Full House, and there is an episode where one character says to the other, "You have the attention span of a paramecium." There was more to it than that, but that's all that's necessary here. I thought i was funny, and started saying it when people did things that demonstrate lack of atten wait what was I talking about?
That sort of thing. Anyway, I had said it to Student A many times, and it had become a sort of inside joke. He had just done something else worthy of this phrase.)
Me: Student A, you have the attention span of a--
Student A: Paramecium, I know.
Me: Very good, Student A! You've learned how to insult yourself! Congratulations!
(Short pause while Student A ponders this possibility)
Student A: Oh Yeah? Well I bet I can insult myself better than you can!

Math Exam

Me: Hi, Student A!
Student A: Don't talk to me. One word: Math Exam.

IAtionary: Ironic Bonding

I-ron-ic Bon-ding [I-RON-ik Bon-ding] n.

1. The process undergone by IA students consisting of the use of sarcasm to grow closer together; How did you guys meet? Oh, you know, just by ironic bonding.
Language of origin: Chemistry
For this concept in practical use, please see Rain

IAtionary: Introduction

I-A-tion-ar-y [ī-Ā-shuhn-er-ee] n.

1. A collection of words, phrases, and idioms used at the IA; I forgot how to spell Physics! I'll just look it up in the IAtionary. F-I-S-I-X. Phew that was close.
2. A reference, spread throughout this blog, that can be accessed collectively by clicking "IAtionary" in the "Labels" section near the bottom of this page
Language of origin: Latin:
dictiōnārium, meaning 'dictionary' and IA meaning 'of or relating to Jupiter's moon Io*'
Note: The occasional acronym may be included

*this information may lack a proper MLA citation

Will's Mole Day Song

This is Will's Mole Day Song. No further explaination is needed.

The new and imporved... Only a IA Blog!!!

Hello long-time readers and newcomers alike! For the latter, this is the new (and improved, I hope!) version of my Only At IA page, previously located on buddyprofile.com. I don't have anything against that site, and I would highly recommend it for posting random and funny stuff that crosses one's mind. For those of you that are interested, my Buddy Profile is still in use, and a link can be found in my AIM Buddy Info. However, it was becoming more and more difficult to edit my Only At IA page there, as I only had a small space to deal with quite a lot of HTML code, and I have found this site to be much more user-friendly in that way.
Oh one more thing- yes, I did put the dates on the posts in IB format. I think it's kind of silly that they make us do that, and making fun of IA and the IB is what this blog is about:) If you caught that on your own, give yourself a pat on the back. Congrats, you're a very observant person! I do plan on sneaking other such things like MLA citations and Works Cited pages in on occasion. See how many you can find! Thanks for reading!