Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes 2008: The year in review

In celebration of the new year, I've decided to go through and pick out my favorite quotes from all of 2008. To make it more dramatic, I think I'll count them down, then give out some awards at the end:

12. "This is a classroom copy."
-Mr. Stibitz on LTUAE

11. "I don't like that Smartboard. That Smartboard makes you dumb."
-Mr. Stibitz

10. "Sleep. Friends. School. Pick two."
-IA Proverb

9. "That's what technology's all about, I've figured it out. It's not whether you do it right or wrong, it's if it's in the mood for it."
-Mrs. Saxsma

8. "80 percent of students who earn an IB diploma in high school graduate from a four-year university within six years."
-Mr. IB on the 6th paragraph of this article

7. "No...because I don't know what it means."
-Mr. Stibitz on me asking, "In Soviet Russia, can bathroom go to YOU??"

6. "I would say you could sit on me but, like, you can't."
-Marie

5. "I am so prepared today it's sickening."
-Mr. Stibitz on finally bringing the candy he promised us two weeks ago

4. "I wanna go up to my parents and say 'Your generation did this on a TV set and a box the size of my head!'"
-Caitlin S. on playing Pong on the iPod Touch

3. "You have been banished to the outside of the atom. You stay in your valence electrons- the nucleus is ours."
Mr. Giromini on chemistry

2. "And let me guess, you don't feel like looking it up."
-Mr. Giromini on the word 'apathetic'


Awards time!

Most out-of-context:
"Stibitz- that's what they're telling me."
-Mr. Stibitz on his name

Most Random:
"I don't know why physics problems so often involve monkeys on sleds, but they do."
-Mr. Giromini on animal testing

Most true to the speaker's view of LTUAE:
"Anything becomes awkward if you think about it long enough."
-Mr. Giromini

Most Groundbreaking:
"I don't know about you guys, but I think I'm pretty normal."
-Moose on inspiring the Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes section

Best interpretation of a school subject (we have a tie!):
"Either put that meterstick down or make it look like you're doing science!"
-Mr. Giromini

"It's not all that important. But the point is if you wanted to do it you could."
-Mrs. Hessler on calculus

AND NOW... Best overall quote:

1. "Trees are meant to die for your education. It's their purpose in life, except for the oxygen thing."
-Mr. Giromini on wasting paper


Congrats to Mr. Giromini for capturing the top three spots, but remember that the ones who won awards aren't counted in that...so it's bittersweet. Also congrats to Mr. Giromini for holding the most places in this post (6) and to Mr. Stibitz for a close second place (5). Well done to (in no particular order) Mrs. Hessler, Mrs. Saxsma, Big Moose, Caitlin, Marie, and of course Mr. IB for making it into this post, and to Amisha, Gabe, Mr. Majask, Kelsi, Sra. Riggs, Billy, Hania, Sudheer, Alan, Bri, Lizzy, Shane, Ray, Mr. Lyons, Bill Gates, and Winnernerd for making the SFAOOCQ cut. See you in 2009!

Elevator Passes

Every year, IA has its Freshman Orientation, where the freshpeople go to get oriented. Current students come in a few days early to help introduce them to the IA, and help them get acquainted with the way things work there. A few years back, before I was at the IA, there were some students (seniors, I think) selling elevator passes to the freshmen. For those of you who don't know, IA is in a notoriously small building, and we definitely only have one story. Anyway, they were insisting that the passes were necessary for survival at the IA. I'm pretty sure no one bought any, despite the seniors' cries of, "But how will you get to your second story classes!?"

Yet more failure

I know that putting failblog's stuff on here could be considered copying... but I always put a link, right? And besides, it's fun. And that's what counts, right? Well...AHHH there are so many of them!!! I just couldn't help myself... (click to enlarge)

















And finally, I know it's a bit long but it's worth it- watch it:

Zero miliHarveys

Last year, the cafeteria at IA started to carry Stacy's Pita Chips. This was a happy day for me, as I had already come to love them. Compared to regular potato chips, they're supposed to be pretty healthy, and I get them almost every day. Here's a photo (not by me) of a typical package of Stacy's Pita Chips, for those readers not in the know:

When we zoom in a bit, we can see that the people at Stacy's either did not know much about IMese, or had a sense of humor:

OMG! Cholesterol! No way! We noticed this a while ago at lunch, and everyone thought it was pretty funny. Obviously, they have not yet discovered the Truth. Let's fix that:

So, as the title implies, I think we've just created a new unit: the miliHarvey (mH)! Of course, this is derived from the Harvey, which is a unit of just about anything. This will eliminate the problems caused by having different units for everything- like what if I want to know how many ounces there are in a mile per gallon!? Impossible with the old system! Now we'll have one simple unit, the Harvey, that can measure anything:

How tall are you? Oh, about 1.4 Harveys.

How much do you weigh? 1.8 Harveys- I cound stand to lose some weight.

How far can you run continuously? If I've slept well the night before, a couple of kiloHarveys.

And how fast? Well it takes me about a decaHarvey to go that far, and 2 kiloHarveys per decaHarvey is about...200 Harveys per Harvey.

How hard do you have to push an object that weighs 3 kiloHarveys to make it accelerate at 3.4 Harveys per Harvey squared? I'd guess the force would need to be about 10.2 kiloHarvey-Harveys per Harvey squared.

See how much easier that is?

iationary: imese

i-m-ese [aye-em-EEZ] n.

1. the language used in instant msging
2. a method of putting info into txt w/ as few keystrokes as possible...its characteristics include:
-virtually complete lack of the upper case except for (pro)nouns representing Harvey
-lack of punctuation
-abbvs for most words over 5 letrs
-ability 2b undrstd by every1 under 21, and only some ovr
-an abundance of letrs and #s put in 4 the words they r like
-a somewhat diff vocab- incl lots of acronyms

this proves that r churches r the coolest (wait we hav churches??? since when???):

If uve proven urself smart enough 2 find this, kn that thats not at all real, i made it on www.churchsigngenerator.com. Ha! Clever!

IAtionary: Pizarra Estupida

Piz-arr-a E-stú-pi-da [pees-ahrr-ah e-STOO-pee-dah] n.

1. A SMARTboard, especially one in its natural state, not working; Mrs. Miner, can you help us? The pizarra estúpida in Mr. Stibitz's room is broken.
2. A device used to frustrate students and teachers, invented to make them appreciate the mouse and keyboard; Ugh, the pizarra estúpida isn't working...I'll just advance the slide with the mouse.
3. Literally: Stupid board

Language of Origin: Español

I was thinking...

If we always replace the word "God" with "Harvey," what happens in cases such as "Greek gods?" It's the same word, but it's not capitalized, but it refers to the same basic concept, but Harvey isn't all of them, but He is our equivalent to how the Greeks viewed them, but... you see the problem?

I found Him after school on Thursday and asked Him. He said that because He is not one of them, and because the concept of a single god among many is significantly different from how we must think of Him, we should refer to them as "Greek gods" and not "Greek Harveys." I thanked Him and walked away.

About a minute later He came running after me down the hallway. When He caught up, He said that He had realized that the question is entirely irrelevant, as they do not exist, and therefore we should never need a way to refer to them at all. As sinful as it may be, I think I have to disagree with Him on this particular matter. After all, things such as ether, a number so large that no one can ever count to it, and George W. Bush's intelligence are equally non-existent, but we require ways to refer to them. Please leave any and all opinions in comments. Thanks.

Bad news and good news, in that order

Bad news first- I'm not gonna be here for a while- I'm going away for a couple of weeks over winter break.

Good news- I get to go to Florida where it's hot and sunny!!!!

Good news for you- I've created at least 10 posts in advance, and using Blogger's relatively new scheduled posting feature, I'll program them to appear throughout the break. Hence, you should continue to check back regularly, and to tell absolutely everyone you know to come read Only At IA, as I'm sure you already do. And don't think you can just figure out the interval and just check back every __ days, because alas! I shall not make it that easy. The point is to make it as much like if I were here as possible, so I'll make it somewhat less predictible than that. The reason I'm telling you is so you won't get mad when I fail to respond to your comments and/or don't correct my spellink misdakes. However, I will tell you that like usual I will not post more than once per day. So with that, enjoy the break, enjoy reading Only At IA in my absence, and seriously, I expect....ermmm...20 comments when I get back, so get on that! (And they can't be all from one person, so don't take it all upon yourself!)

IAtionary: LTUAE

L-T-U-A-E [ELL-tee-YOO-ei-EE] n.

1. Life, The Universe, And Everything
2. A phrase often used as the subject of a quotation, meaning that the speaker is referring to his or her values, morals, or personality in general; "Anything becomes awkward if you think about it long enough." -Mr. Giromini on LTUAE

Origin: just read this

Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, Part XI

YAY! 1000 hits! Thanks guys!

"You know what would make the world better? No more stupid people!"
-Mr. Giromini

"I didn't insult her!...On purpose...Directly..."
-Mr. Giromini on the above

"The exam will crush you."
-Mr. Giromini on teaching

"80 percent of students who earn an IB diploma in high school graduate from a four-year university within six years."
-Mr. IB

"No seriously, this time he really said that. Click here if you don't believe me, and check out paragraph 6."
-Me on the above

"No...because I don't know what it means."
-Mr. Stibitz on me asking, "In Soviet Russia, can bathroom go to YOU??"

"I don't understand this game."
-Mr. Stibitz on Russian Reversal

"In Soviet Russia, this game doesn't understand YOU!!"
-Russian Reversal on Mr. Stibitz

Quoth the server, "404."

I have English class in room 404, and every single time I walk in I think of this. It's not all that common, but I have heard people at IA (other than me!) saying "404" to mean dim-witted or not-all-there. I've imagined myself walking into class and finding that I'm the only one there, as everyone managed to go to the right class, but I'm the only one who's 404. Luckily that hasn't happened yet...but we'll see.

Quoth the server? Lit room? Get it?

How to fail exams with dignity

In history class the other day, we had finished our work for the day, so Mr. Majask put an email that he had received up on the board. The subject was HOW TO FAIL EXAMS WITH DIGNITY. This was on there, but I'm not gonna upload it again. Anyway, these were the other pics in it (click to enlarge):

No! That's what it said! Really! Well...

Mr. Majask liked this one because his name's Pete:

And the best one of all...


Special thanks to Mr. Majask for forwarding me the email:)

In Soviet Russia, title writes YOU!!

So in SLC on Friday I had this sudden urge to speak using Russian Reversal. It was so much fun! And it had the added bonus of driving Mr. Stibitz crazy, of course. I spent the whole class saying everything I could in Russian Reversal (and I must say, I am good at it) (In Soviet Russia, it's good at YOU!!) For example, as you will see in the most recent Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, when I had to go to the bathroom I asked, "In Soviet Russia, can bathroom go to YOU??" I even got a couple of my friends to do it too, making it all the more entertaining (In Soviet Russia, entertainment makes YOU!!). We were working on a project in the tech center (In Soviet Russia, project works on YOU!!), with Powerpoint. I changed the title slide to look like this (In Soviet Russia, title slide changes YOU!!):

While we were working I did my best to drive everyone else crazy (In Soviet Russia, crazy drives YOU!!) by Russian Reversing everything they said and more. In Soviet Russia, really hard to pack a full sentence of information into a Russian Reversal and still make it funny becomes YOU!! I encourage you to try it- pick a class (In Soviet Russia, class picks YOU!!) and try to RR everything for the full class period...it's actually really fun, but difficult at the same time. Now I will share some out-of-order highlights from an IM conversation I had with a non-IA friend on Friday, with some random imput from another non-IA friend (In Soviet Russia, highlights share YOU!!):

Me: In Soviet Russia riddle has YOU!!
Non-IA friend #1: AH! SOME MUCH RUSSIAN STUFF!!!!
Me: In Soviet Russia confused is YOU??
Non-IA friend #1: me is confused now
Me: In Soviet Russia confused is YOU!!
Non-IA friend #1: dont you dare
Me: In Soviet Russia don't dares YOU!!
Non-IA friend #2: I HAVE TO GO WATER MY FICUS
Non-IA friend #1: btw, he doesnt have a ficus
Me: In Soviet Russia ficus waters YOU!!
Me: In Soviet Russia link clicks YOU!!
Me: In Soviet Russia dot dot dot questions YOU!!
Me: i like that 1
Me: In Soviet Russia that 1 likes YOU!!
Me: In Souveet Rusiah, spellink mizdakes meik YOO!! heh
Non-IA friend #1: lol
Me: In Soviet Russia out loud laughs at YOU!!
Non-IA friend #1: IN SOVIET RUSSIA,....... THERE'S YAKS
Me: In Soviet Russia there yaks at YOU!!
Non-IA friend #1: I KN I SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES.....
Me: In Soviet Russia nerves get on YOU!!
Non-IA friend #2: YAKS ROCK THROUGHTOUT SOVIET RUSSIA
Me: In Soviet Russia yaks throw out YOU!!
Me: In Soviet Russia n00bs pwn J00!!
Me: sry...
Non-IA friend #1: IN SOVIET RUSSIA REVOLTING ARE WE
Me: In Soviet Russia battery re-volts YOU!!
Me: In Soviet Russia useless never-ending conversation has YOU!!
Non-IA friend #1: LOL SPICE GIRLS (referring to the last of these)
Me: In Soviet Russia Spice Girls lol at YOU!!

It was much, much longer than that, but I feel that that selection captures the point pretty well (In Soviet Russia, point captures YOU!!). So seriously, try it sometime (In Soviet Russia, it tries YOU!!). It's fun. In Soviet Russia, post ends YOU!!

This is a magical post with units that make the formula work out

Our Math HL midterm is coming up, and to help each other study we each wrote a question, sent it to Mrs. Hessler and put it on a wiki that I created for the class. (By the way, in English class, we just finished a book called The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea.) Jordan submitted this as his question:

1)The sum of the forces acting on a boy as he is falling from grace to an ineluctable death at the pit of math HL despair provides that his terminal velocity is: v=K((5t^3+t^2+12t)/(2t^3)) where K is a magical constant equal to 1 with units that make the formula work out. Since failing out would cause him to lose his glory and transferring classes is not an option, find his terminal velocity as time becomes an endless motif.

2)The level of sanity for the average IA student is demonstrated by the following formula: s=f(I)=ln(I)tan(5I). Deduce when a student’s sanity does not exist. In other words, find the intervals for which the function is continuous.

Really. He did. He also submitted this as an answer:

1) (5/2) Most of the question is irrelevant. The only important parts in the limits of fractions are the highest order exponents in the numerator and the denominator. Since both have exponents of 3, the answer is simply the quotient of the coefficients (5/2). In general, if the numerator has a higher order exponent then the limit is infinity, if the denominator has a higher order than the limit is zero.

2) continuous on (0+(pi/10)k,(pi/10)+(pi/10)k) for all positive integers k Keep in mind that the domains of the natural log and the tangent function do not necessarily affect each other. The natural log function merely establishes that all x-values must be greater than zero, other than that it can simply be seen as a sort of coefficient in finding the limit. The only other time the function is undefined is at the vertical asymptotes of the tangent function. Since tan usually has undefined points on every (pi/2) interval and this function is shrunk to be a fifth is original period, the new interval is (pi/10)

What is actually the best part is both answers are completely right. The second one is stated a bit awkwardly, but after thinking about it for way too long I realized that my potential simplification, using pi/10 as the starting point and pi/5 as the interval length, fails from zero to pi/10. Graph it if you don't believe me.

Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, Part X

Wow. Ten already. That's a lot.

"And Mr. Giromini said '...and gravity is...' and I fell out of my chair. He turned purple laughing."
-Amisha on her freshperson year

"I love saying 'coupled harmonic oscillator' 'cause it makes me sound more intelligent."
-Mr. Giromini on things to say to make Bio teachers just walk away

"Take out all the 'the's!"
-Gabe on staying within the History Internal Assessment word limit

"It really is unnatural."
-Mr. Majask on History Internal Assessments

"I am so prepared today it's sickening."
-Mr. Stibitz on finally bringing the candy he promised us two weeks ago

"Conjugated verbs are for squares."
-Kelsi on having to write them

"I would say you could sit on me but, like, you can't."
-Marie

"I have an SUV. I don't care."
-Mr. Giromini on the roads not being plowed

"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. Make it last forever, friendship never ends!"
-Sra. Riggs on why teachers shouldn't sing Spice Girls songs at school

IAtionary: Pythagut

Py-thag-ut [puh-THAG-uht] v.

1. To perform the ritual known as the Pythagorean Theorem
2. To add little floating 2's to numbers, smash them together, then just take the little floating 2's away

Language of Origin: Girominian

Mr. Giromini pointed out in class today that it is a pain to say, "Now use the Pythagorean Theorem to calculate the final side of the triangle," and he realized that there should be a verb to do the trick. "Oh, just pythagut!" is easier and more fun. He also points out that there is no direct object in the previous exclamation; to say, "Oh, just pythag it!" is an incorrect usage. It can be argued that the term's origin has something to do with direct objects, but today this construction is blatantly wrong. The verb is regular in the present tense:

I pythagut, you pythagut, he/she/it pythaguts (archaic form: pythagsut), we pythagut, they pythagut.

It it also mostly regular in other tenses; the participles are pythaguting and pythaguted.

Another handy alternative to the Pythagorean Theorem can be found here.

El Chiki Chiki Se Baila Así

I've been in a bit of a let's-make-fun-of-Mr.-Stibitz mood lately. So...

A while ago, during our Spanish Language Culture unit on music, we were discussing the coexistence of traditional and modern music in Spain today. Mr. Stibitz showed us a video on YouTube of a traditional group, then said that he had a video of a song more like our music here. This isn't the video he used, (I couldn't find it,) but it's the same song and it has the same overlays to show the steps. His video was slightly more school appropriate, though. (Don't worry, it's not that bad at all.)



We all thought it was pretty funny that that's his idea of American music. The song's called Chiki Chiki (or Baila el Chiki Chiki- Dance the Chiki Chiki) by Rodolfo Chikilicuatre, and most of the lyrics are about how everyone does the dance:

Rajoy dances it, Hugo Chávez dances it, Zapatero dances it...they dance it in prison, they dance it in school, my mother dances it and also my grandmother! etc, etc, etc...

The Chiki Chiki is danced like this:
One: The breakdance
Two: The Crusaíto (It's another dance- I don't know exactly how to translate it)
Three: The Moonwalk
Four: The Robocop

So now we're studying Spain the the 20th century, and the effect of Franco's dictatorship on the nation. He showed us a few videos about Franco, including the reading of his will soon after his death. Then there was a video with Franco attempting to speak English- it was so bad you couldn't understand a thing. Next, someone making fun of the previous video, who had added subtitles saying not what he meant but how it sounded, making little more sense then before. Finally, Mr. Stibitz's Word document with all the links had a video titled "Mistery" (spelled like that!). He said something like, "YouTube is so much fun, and I couldn't resist," then clicked it and we got this, called "el chikichiki lo canta franco" or "Franco sings the Chiki Chiki:"



This is one of those times when there's no better way to end a post that to shout ONLY AT IA! I mean, c'mon!

Fahrenheit 451...Stibitz Style!

I saw this on the board in Spanish Culture. Mr. Stibitz wrote the question, but he said he had no idea who responded. Another mystery.

Harveyism Update

A couple of announcements regarding Harveyism:

The date of Noholidayday has (not) been changed to October 8 on the calendar of Harveyism.

The calendar of Harveyism has been created- it mostly works like the Gregorian calendar, but also adopts aspects of the Roman calendar, with a few notable exceptions. Its properties include:
-March shall become the first month of the year, and January and February the last two
-Thus, October shall once again be the eighth month of the year
-The current system of determining leap years will be kept: every fourth year will be a leap year, except the years divisible by 100. Of these, the years divisible by 400 will also be leap years.

Basically, the calendar was created because He came up to me today to tell me that He wanted to change the lack of a date of NHD to October 8, because 8 is his favorite number, and the lack of holidays should be celebrated on the eighth day of the eighth month of the year. When I reminded Him that October is the tenth month, He laughed at Himself for several microseconds before insisting that NHD not be August 8. I argued that not having NHD in the summer (even if it is in the very final days of the IA summer) would ruin the opportunity to ignore the opportunity to have fun, (I may not have used so many words...whatever,) as we would not be among other IA students. Then He pointed out that OCTober should be the eighth month, which as you know if you clicked the above link is not a coincidence. So, we decided to change the calendar. Well, I did, because he insisted on 8-8 and I wanted it to be during school. So sorry, you'll have to wait a few more months for the new year.

You is stupid

Today in Spanish Culture, a girl in the class went over to the board and wrote Sr. Stibitz es estupido.

Mr. Stibitz responded with (paraphrased) "Only a stupid person would forget the accent mark on estúpido."

IAtionary: Róllisilla

Ról-li-si-lla [ROH-lee-see-ya] n.

1. A comfortable chair, particularly one on wheels
2. The Spanglish word for "Rollychair"

Origin: From Spanish silla, meaning "chair," and Stibitian rolli, meaning "rolly."

Alternate spellings: Rólysilla, Rolysilla, Rollysilla, Rollisilla

I actually asked Mr. Stibitz how to spell it today. The problem is, the first ll needs to be pronounced in English, and the second in Spanish. Should I spell it with l then ll? Or let it be and just write the pronunciation? Is it a y or an i in the middle? And is there an accent mark? He didn't give me any useful answers, so I just put a ton of alternate spellings. There. Done.

The Following Post Has Been Approved For All Audiences

Mr. Giromini gave me an interesting idea today. After having said something very mildly improper in fisix class, he continued with something along the lines of, "You know how, on TV, at the start of every show, they have those ratings in the corner? You know, like TV-MA or TV-PG or whatever. Wouldn't it be funny if I had those on my door? 'This lecture has been rated Parental Guidance Suggested.'" So I was wondering what those ratings would be if they were to show up. These would be my guess:

First, the gentlest rating, IA-FP. These classes are specifically designed for freshpeople, (but can often be enjoyed by other age groups as well!) and contain little to no objectionable content. Sometimes, this rating may be accompanied by a sub-rating, such as tan(x):

This means that the content is still appropriate for all ages, but may include tangents. The lecture may include elements such as The Impossible Quiz, or other similarly random, but admittedly fun, stuff.

The IA-F15 rating indicates that the class has been deemed acceptable for all but the youngest IA students. One can determine the age they must use by taking their real age, adding their GPA, subtracting the number of hours weekly they spend doing biology homework, subtracting the number of times they insisted that a match beat Mike Tyson on Question 2 of The Impossible Quiz, then adding the number of times Moodle has gone down this school year. If you can't remember any of these, the default age is 14.9. IA-F15 will always include a sub-rating telling why it was rated this way: FX means potentially objectionable fisix-related content...

...while F(X) means potentially objectionable math-related content.

The next rating is IA-Y?. This type of humor is not directed specifically at freshpeople, and upperclassmen, staff, and even administrators are likely to appreciate the techniques used. This means that the lesson will contain material that will have you asking, "IA, why!?" Mr. Giromini will, however, be able to provide a reasonable justification for why the content in question is necessary. Therefore, it is not as strict as:

IA-YN, containing material that will beg the same question, but will see that question met with, "Why not?" And finally, the strictest of all:

IA-MG, for Mr. Giromini, (or his first name, which I won't put here without permission,) indicates that the lecture may contain certain elements unsuitable for immature audiences. If you plan to attend a class rated IA-MG, just understand that if you want to enjoy the humor, you'll have to accept that, sometimes, it's gonna be you that does something stupid.

Däs Ümläüt Mönster

This ist änöther Pöst thät might oder might nicht IÄtiönäry be. First wänt I the Term Ümläüt Mönster to define:

Ümläüt Mönster [ööm-lähööt mähn-stehr] N.

1. The Creätüre thät ön stüdents öf Germän Grämmär preys
2. The Creätüre thät Peöple föllöwing the Läws of Germän Grämmär nicht devöürs
3. The Reäsön thät this Pöst this Wäy gewritten ist
Älternätespelling: Ümläütmönster

Däs Ümläütmönster, here gepictüred ist:


The Pürpöse öf the Ümläüt Mönster, süre thät the Läws öf Grämmär geföllöwed äre tö be, ist. Its Örigins üngeknöwn äre, büt gethöüght it ist, it löng ägö gebörn wäs. In Örder tö its Wräth ävöid, üsen Sie these Rüles:

Eins: The Letters ä, ö, ünd ü shöüld älwäys Ümläüts häben, even in Germän Wörds thät keine Ümläüts häben shöüld
Zwei: Äll Infinitiveverbs müst ät the End öf the Sentence cöme
Drei: Tö äll Pästpärticiples shöüld ,,ge" geädded be
Vier: Kömmäs shöüld between äll Cläüses geinserted be
Fünf: Äll Nöüns müst gecäpitälized be
Sechs: Tö sücceßfülly the Ümläüt Mönster äviöd, müst Sie äny Öccürrences öf ,ss' with ß (es-tsett) repläce
Sieben: Germänwörds thät like their Englischeqüivälents söünd öder löök, müst insteäd ingepüt be
Ächt: Mültiple Wörds thät eäch öther describe, müst tögether gö, sömetimes with fünny-lööking-Hyphens, ünd sömetimes withöüt Fünnylöökinghyphens
Neün: Twö Kömmäs shöüld insteäd öf ,,Beginningqüötätiönmärks" geüsed be
Zehn: Cömpöündverbs in Englisch (tö gö öüt, tö get üp, üsw.) müst Seperäbleverbs in Denglisch (öütgöen, üpgeten, üsw.) becöme, ünd they müst thüsly fünctiön
Elf, öptiönäl ist: Repläcen Sie äny öther Wörds thät Sie wishen, öder chängen Sie the Örder öf the Wörds, für the Ideä leß cleär tö mäke

Ich häbe däs Ümläüt Mönster ön Üncyclöpediä geseen, ünd I wish him tö the IÄ tö intrödüce. It gives ä few Peöple ät IÄ whö däs Ümläüt Mönster knöw:

Ich: ,,Stüdent Ä, höw dö yöü spell ,schön?'"
Stüdent Ä: ,,Es, see, äych, öh, en. Büt there's än Ümläüt Mönster ön the ö."

I think, thät it ä very fünny Köncept ist. I äm in Germäncläß, ünd it gives söme Things in Germän thät fünny söünd. Speäking in Denglisch fün mäkes, ünd I höpe äble the Ideä tö spreäd tö be.

Rememberen Sie: Föllöwen Sie the Rüles öder däs Ümläüt Mönster shall Sie finden!

This Line ist tö Üncyclöpediäs ,,Ümläüt Mönster" Päge gelinked: Reäden Sie it!

Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, Part IX

And yes. We did get a picture.

I think someone else got a better one though.


"I love this class 'cause I can be so immature!"
-Amisha on Ab Initio German

"Do we have to do that?"
-Kelsi on a Spanish Language Culture project

"Anything becomes awkward if you think about it long enough."
-Mr. Giromini on life, the universe, and everything

"Get a picture of the sign that says 'Room Occupancy 10'"
-Sra. Riggs on 44 members of Spanish Honor Society being in the same room at once

"I hit a lot of people, zero times."
-Sra. Riggs on her Laser Tag skills

"There's no minute like the last minute."
-Mr. Giromini

"Mr. Stibitz, which color would drive you most insane?"
-Me on my set of German Pens

"I had to read it and it hurt my eyes."
-Mr. Stibitz on the worksheet I did in pink in response to the above

IAtionary: The Drawer Not Labeled

The drawer not la-beled [thuh DRAWR not ley-buhld] n.

1. An unmarked pull-out storage compartment used to store a specific item
2. A term always followed by the name of the item it stores, usually some kind of lab equipment

Language of Origin: Girominian to Fisixian

Mr. Giromini has a bunch of drawers in his room, and most are unlabeled. I know that the scissors drawer does say "Scissors," but beyond that I can't name many more. I get the feeling that he wishes they were labeled, but never feels like labeling them. Of course that's just my take on the situation. So, he's taken to referring to drawers by "The drawer not labeled [the item it contains]." For example:

Fisixian: Mr. Giromini, where are the protractors?
Mr. Giromini, pointing to the drawer in question: Right there, in the drawer not labeled "Protractors."

This sentence serves as a witty concluding sentence to this post, which otherwise might not have one.

Moron Collisions

Today in physics class, we had been talking about momentum and impulse:

Mr. Giromini: OK, so when we get back from break on Monday we're going to start collisions. On Wednesday, we'll do more on collisions, and... Wait I meant "more on collisions," not "moron collisions." Hey Ram, Tejas, stand up and run into each other. There, a one-dimensional moron collision.

Harvey Bless You

Me to Harvey: What should we say if You sneeze? I mean, "Harvey bless You" is kind of redundant.

Harvey: Ummm... just say "take cover," cause a bomb's about to go off. *Mimes sneezing, instilling panic in the rest of us*

IAtionary: Gray Stay

Gray Stay [GREY-stey] n.

1. The condition or state of requiring an extra day to do one's homework due to the incredibly gloomy weather

Language of Origin: Biology

In my freshperson year, I had Mrs. Knicely for Bio. She was great, and as her name implies, very knice. At the start of the year, she told the class that we would get two Grace Days per year, one each semester. If we forgot to do an assignment, we could turn it in the next class with "Grace Day" written on top for full points. She went over to the white board and wrote it, saying something like "This is how you spell Grace Day. G-R-A-C-E D-A-Y. I'm telling you this because one year I had a student hand me a paper with this written on the top," and turning to write Gray Stay on the board, she continued, "When I asked him to explain, he just said, 'What? I'm using my Gray Stay!'"

Karma

The Spanish Honor Society went to Zap Zone the other day to play laser tag. We were waiting in the glowing room where we are told the rules, and Mr. Giromini was sitting on the upper tier of the seats. Suddenly he jumped up with an exclamation of surprise, and began to glare angrily at the ceiling. There was a leak, and a drop of water had fallen directly on him. He moved over, leaving his original spot as one of the only available places on that side of the room. Nicole walked into the room, and he watched her sit there, doing nothing to stop her. When she jumped up with a reaction similar to his, all he said was, "That's what you get for taking my seat. It's karma."

Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, Part VIII

Yeah...

"Look, fruit!"
-Billy on vegetables

"Do you see the personal doubt I have instilled in you? I'm such a great person."
-Mr. Giromini on internal assessments

"Is this a one or is this a two or is this a twelve?"
-Hania on Mr. Majask's handwriting

"Actually that broke my camera, not gonna lie."
-Anonymous on the American tradition of hitting electronics to make them work

"That's what technology's all about, I've figured it out. It's not whether you do it right or wrong, it's if it's in the mood for it."
-Mrs. Saxsma

"And let me guess, you don't feel like looking it up."
-Mr. Giromini on the word 'apathetic'

"Did you hear my German? That was so great!"
-Sra. Riggs on saying 'Danke'

"I'm so glad you guys came back."
-Mr. Stibitz on how much work he is able to do when his class unexpectedly returns after an assembly that was supposed to last until the end of the day

Prophet Pending

Several people have recently asked me if I'm the prophet of Harveyism. I found the idea interesting, so I approached Him the other day while He was doing math homework:

Me: Can I be a prophet?

Him: How do you do this math problem?

Me: Let's see... is this is tangent of x and this is secant of x... I have no idea. Can I be a prophet?

Him: *sarcastically* Thanks.

Me: Can I be a prophet?

Him: *silence, accompanied by the glare*

Me: I'll ask when You're in a better mood.

So as of now, the whole prophet thing's still on hold... I'll just have to try again later.

Answer Desk Rate Schedule

This is in Mr. Majask's room, and I found it entertaining so now it's here as well. Honestly, I think it would be funnier if it said "Answer Which Requires Thought" and "Correct Answer" instead, because it kind of suggests that you could get as many thoughtful answers as you want for two bucks. But apparently whoever wrote it could not afford a correct answer.

Sorry for the glare in the pic. I tried.

QWMRTY, the new QWERTY

So I was Math class on Wednesday and we were working on our internal assessments. We need to type them, so Mrs. Hessler brought the laptops for us to use. The laptops are famous for being rrriiidddiiicccuuulllooouuussslllyyy sssslllloooowwww, and they often take their own sweet time logging in. Arthur's was taking longer than usual- he had been waiting almost ten minutes, give or take. After some complaining directed at the students whose computers were working better, his finally came around. With a sigh of relief, he started up Word, and went to begin typing. When he looked down, he realized something was wrong. From the frustrated scream he made, so did the rest of us. Several students gathered by his desk to see what was up, and this is what they found:


Now I know what you're thinking: "What's wrong with that? It's just a keyboard. Besides, it's too blurry to see anything." I know. I'd like to blame the inadequacy of camera phones, but as you can see it was just my shaky hand. Luckily, I had the foresight to snap some close-ups:



Yes. Someone had taken out almost all the keys and put them back in the wrong places. Wow. Only At IA, right? So anyway, everyone but Arthur thought it was hysterical. Especially me. We were laughing at him for not realizing it earlier, as well as at the genius of whoever had done it, but he was mad about the wasted ten minutes, as he had to get another computer. He tried to put them back, but Mrs. Hessler suggested that we let Mrs. Miner take care of it so Arthur wouldn't get in trouble if he broke it. In retrospect, probably a good idea.

Special thanks to Arthur for letting me use his name and to Mrs. Hessler for permission to take these photos without fear of my cell phone being confiscated.

Only Smart People Can Read This

Kyle was wearing this today. I'm debating with myself about which is the most IAesque:
-Him owning the shirt
-Him wearing it to school
-Me being able to read it
-The answering, adding -ing to fit the established pattern

Please let me know which you think wins in the poll over there <===, ok?

Special thanks to Kyle for not being freaked out when I randomly asked to take a picture of his shirt on my cell phone in the middle of lunch, as I must admit I probably would have been.

The answer to one of life's greatest mysteries has presented itself to me on a silver platter

Bri: What's the purpose of attaching the chairs to the desks? Well, I guess if you needed to throw them out the window...

Me: *whirling around* What are we throwing out the window?

Bri: I mean if there was someone in the building and we needed to get out.

Me: How would the desks being attached to the chairs help?

Bri: It'll make a bigger hole!

IAtionary: Irony

I-ron-y [AHY-ruh-nee] n.

1. The condition or state of being unable to access Moodle, despite the district's assurance that it would be back up sometime Sunday, on Tuesday night
2. The combination of the above and the fact that Blackboard is working fine

Language of Origin: Derived from the Greek ιρωμε, meaning to repeatedly beat oneself on the head in frustration, in reference to the big deal made at the beginning of the year over how much better Moodle is than Blackboard

I, for one, find it hilarious that despite all the hubbub about Moodle being crash-proof, idiot-proof, an above all nerd-proof, it still goes down. Sure it goes down less often than Blackboard did but when it does, you can count it out for a week. I mean, how much fun is it to drive the teachers crazy by saying, with all the irony you can muster, "Sorry, I tried to do the reading, but Moodle was down!"

Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, Part VII

"It's not all that important. But the point is if you wanted to do it you could."
-Mrs. Hessler on calculus

"I have no idea what's going on in Sailor, man! There's no SparkNotes!"
-Big Moose on the book we're reading in English

"Only if a picture has a mouth, though."
-Sudheer on 'A picture's worth a thousand words'

"I'm talking like Obama! I'm pausing after every two words!"
-Mr. Giromini

"I bought one and I ripped it in half!"
-Sudheer on Beanie Babies

"I don't like that Smartboard. That Smartboard makes you dumb."
-Mr. Stibitz

"I don't know why physics problems so often involve monkeys on sleds, but they do."
-Mr. Giromini on animal testing

A joke I heard today

So I was in fisix today and I heard a wonderfully IAish joke from Mike S. that I had to put here. I was going to put it under SFAOOCQ but I don't think it was original... Anyway:

There are ten kinds of people in this world: those that can read binary and those that can't.

I was talking to Sra. a while ago...and it went something along the lines of:

Me: Sra., are Mr. Stibitz's kids like him? Do they talk like him...and have his sense of humor?
Sra. Riggs: One of them, the younger one, is just like him, but with social skills!

IAtionary: Quintic Function

Quin-tic Func-tion [KWIN-tic FUHNGK-shuhn] n.

1. (literal) A mathematical relationship in which the independent variable (often x) is raised to the fifth power; x to the fifth plus two x to the fourth minus eight x to the third plus five x squared minus three x plus ten is an example of a quintic function
2. (rarely) Any crazy looking graph; What did you type into your calculator!? That's like a quintic function!
3. The result of asking Graphical Analysis to calculate a best fit equation without asking oneself if the answer makes any sense in the particular situation; The freshpeople are doing a lab where they graph velocity versus time for an object with a constant acceleration. All those with juinority know that it should be linear, but you'd be surprised how many have come up with quintic functions.

Language of Origin: Fisixian

Origin of the term: Actual quintic functions (as per the first definition, above) have little to no practical use. If you get one as your answer, especially when the relationship you are trying to find is between two fairly common variables, you know you've done something wrong. Very wrong. Beginning fisixians tend to mindlessly let their computers calculate the best fit curve for them, and fail to realize that they need to examine the reasonableness of the answer before submitting it. It's kind of similar to how someone might accidentally use the ÷ key when trying to type 100 times 14.7 into the calculator, and write the answer as 6.08 without noticing that something is amiss.

More Failure

I was reading failblog today and these were so funny I had to share them. We have a long weekend, and there won't be much IA-related stuff till Wednesday, so here you go: