Kätsch Twöändtwenty

Our German book, Neue Horizonte, comes with an interactive CD-ROM that we sometimes use to review for tests. Each student is loaned a CD at the beginning of the year, and they cost a lot of money if you lose them, so we try not to. At the top of the individual CDs' packages is this notice:


I didn't think much of it the first time I saw it, but then I read it more carefully... There is no way to read the license agreement until the seal is broken, but that implies that you've already accepted it! Älsö cöüld it ,,The Öpener öf thisem Päckäge ist hereby in Denglisch für the Rest öf his öder her Life tö speäk geköndemned" gesäid häve!

It was, however, already opened when I got it. There was no license agreement remaining...I guess some poor soul of a past year is still suffering the consequences of said license agreement.

So, did you like my Juhrmanization of "Catch 22?" Clever, right?

Pictures 'n' Stuff, Part IV

I am glad to say that I have just discovered they joys of xkcd. I went through the first few and picked out my favorites:







ToK at its finest (click to enlarge):









Click to enlarge

IAtionary: Juhrmen

Juhr-men [jur-muhn]

1. n. The German language, culture, or people; Lol, I'm going to do that in juhrmen next class
2. adj. Of or relating to the German language, culture, or people

Alternate Spellings: Juhrmun; Jurmuhn; Juhrman; Jührmen; Jührmün; Jürmühn; Juhrmän (usw.)

Also:
Juhr-mun-i-za-tion [jur-muhn-ahy-zay-shun] n.

1. The process of transforming an English (or other non-Juhrmen language) word, phrase, sentence, etc. to resemble Juhrmen
2. Ein Englischwörd thät thüsly tränsgeförmed gebeen häs; What's ,,Kätsch Twöändtwenty" mean? Oh, that's just a juhrmunization of ,,Catch 22."

Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, Part XXV

I have enough new quotes for an entire other post stored up from the last few days of school, which I've been unable to put up due to the technical difficulties, so be sure to check 'em out!

"Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco de Mayo."
-Sr. Majask sobre su conocimiento del español

"If I was truly organized, it would be the greatest system ever."
-Mr. Stibitz on his portable filing cabinet

"All I know is '¿Cómo estás?'"
-Moose on IB1 Spanish

"I'm not talking to you still."
-Sra. Riggs to Sr. Stibitz

"That's OK."
Mr. Stibitz on the above

"I completely forgot about all things happy in life."
-Anonymous on being reminded of the school picnic

"Russia's far away from itself!"
-Kyra on geography

"The problem is for you guys, the bare minimum is what most people would call overachieving."
-Mr. Majask

"I speak Pig, but I don't speak Latin."
-Ubhashsay onway Igpay Atinlay

"Lunch feels so long without doing your homework."
-Harvey on procrastination

Imaginaaaation

First of all, before you continue reading, take the time to do Spongebob's rainbow thing with your hands as you read the title. There you go, that's it! Now wasn't that fun? What's fun!? Well... F is for friends who--- Sorry. I can focus.

Anyway, in German today, we were done with a small assignment, and Marie started to draw (with my borrowed sueño de escribir, I might add) at the top of a sheet of paper. After a short time, she showed me what she had drawn (click all to enlarge):


Looking closely, I pointed at the seated man and asked, "Is that an electric chair?" She said no, that it was a bench. He was fishing. She then defended this statement by pointing out the pond, fish, fishing pole, etc. Obviously, her mind is not quite that warped. Jokingly, I suggested that there should be lightning involved. About a minute later:


Charming. She then asked me if there was anything else she should add. I suggested a flying fish, to which she responded, "There already is one, look." She was right. Well, a jumping fish at least. "OK," I continued, "an aeroplane." I felt like using the British word- don't ask. She adopted her 'I have an idea' face, and shortly thereafter showed me this:


She then demanded to see the case of German pens, insisting that it needed more colors. I tried to resist, but alas, this next picture makes it obvious that I could not.


That's the final version. Oh yeah, about that "not quite that warped" thing... I take it back.

:ß

Special thanks to Marie for letting me borrow the drawing.


F steht für Freunde die was unternehmen.
U steht für uns, dich und mich.
N steht für endlich haben wir mal Spaß,
ganz friedlich und freundschaftlich.

F steht für Feuer das wütet und lodert.
U steht für Unfairen Kampf.
N steht für nukleares Waffenarsenal, mit dem...

Plankton! Das hat doch rein gar nichts mit Fun zu tun! Pass auf, machs mir einfach nach!

F steht für Freunde die was unter...

Vergiss es, das ist doch völlig idiotisch!

Weißt du was? Ich helf dir mal!

F steht für Freunde die was unternehmen.
U steht für uns, dich und mich... Versuchs mal!

N steht für endlich haben wir mal Spaß,
ganz friedlich und freundschaftlich.

Moment! Ich versteh das einfach nicht! Ich hab so'n Kribbeln im Bauch! Sollen wir aufhören?

Nein, das ist genau das richtige Gefühl!

Also mir gefällt's!

Machen wir's nochmal?

OK!

F steht für Freude an allen schönen Blumen.
U steht für Ukulele.
N steht für Naseweiß und ich mach mit bei jedem scheiß und lache aus tiefster Seele.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, Part XXIV

I have nothing to add...

"Teachers, although we are perfect, sometimes have flaws."
-Miss Davey

"And the word for this in English is 'contradictory' and it is spelled c-o-n-t-r-a-d-i-c-t-o-r-y."
-Sheikh Darwish on the above

"Some people run with scissors; I throw them."
-Miss Davey

"I think I still have a cannon."
-David on having borrowed and returned Mr. Majask's action figures

"You only know it because you're French!"
-Ravi on Kanel's diFrenchiation skills

"Do it right the first time!"
-Mr. Giromini on test corrections

"Is that a self-portrait?"
-Mrs. Cafcalas, to Hania, on an artistic representation of Hitler

"People who are freaks have more fun."
-Marie on LTUAE

"Yo soy mucho más interesante que él."
Sra. Riggs on the differences between herself and Sr. Stibitz

"Number one was neurologist, number two was vending machine operator. Could they be more different?"
-Rachel B. on a career aptitude test

"How come some nouns are neuter, but none are spayed?"
-Marie on the German language

"Oh, Z doesn't come after L."
-Julia on the dictionary

Today is No Longer the Lack of Noholidayday...

I was gonna write a fun post about how Harveyists around the world are ignoring NHD in new and exciting ways today, but then I remembered that that is no longer true. Now I face an entirely new conundrum... when it is NHD, I throw in all sorts of negatives to make it conform to the nature of the (lack of a) holiday. Now, when it actually isn't NHD, do I say that it is? But then we're right back where we started!

The conclusion I've reached is that it's best just not to mention NHD today at all. That way, you don't have to worry about the placement of negatives. Maybe I won't even post this. There.

Instead, we can all celebrate my coming of age in the wizarding world!

Accio comments!

Sra. Riggs' Projector Fail

Technology. We love it, we hate it. It's a hindrance, it's a help. I find it funny that, in a school of nerds, it still manages to give us so much trouble. Luckily, Mrs. Miner is usually there to save the day. However, there are some cases where her superpowers are rendered useless. This is one of those cases:


Sra.'s projector has been like this since it was installed. When I asked, she said something about how the screen can be moved, but the projector must be centered, according to whoever installed it. We usually just have to watch movies and stuff on the white board, forcing Sra. to erase whatever may have been there previously. That is, unless you want Däs Bilingüäldräwnönäwhiteböärdümläütmönster (no spelling suggestions...lol) staring at you from the background of your movie. Which, let me assure you, you do not.

IAtionary: Bageling

Ba-gel-ing [BEY guhl ing] v.

1. The act of finding a bagel, toasting it, and loading it with cream cheese before devouring in a most unladylike fashion
2. An action commonly asserted as an explanation for an absence; brb, bageling

Also:

To bag-el [too BEY guhl] v.
1. The back-formed infinitive of the above; I like to bagel after school, especially when I haven't had any lunch.

Food-ing [FOOD-ing] v.
1. The act resulting in the expansion of the above to any edible substance

Language of Origin: Amishan

Specific Origin of the Term:

This conversation-

Amisha: bageling: the act of finding a bagel, toasting it, and loading it with cream cheese before devouring in a most unladylike fashion.
Amisha: Use: brb, bageling.
Me: context?
Amisha: i'm hungry
Amisha: i'm bageling, brb
Amisha: :P
Amisha: thats about it
Me: who said tht
Amisha: haha i did >_<
Me: ahh
Me: to whom?
Amisha: to nish
Amisha: we were arguing about whether or not fooding was a verb
Me: which its not
Amisha: i was like fooding, brb
Amisha: and he's like >:O not a verb
Amisha: and i'm like >:O yes it is
Amisha: fooding's like bageling.
Amisha: and then i defined it for him :P

Däs Bilingüäldräwnönäwhiteböärdümläütmönster

In Product Team, I like to think of fun stuff to write on the board. I like the image of Sra. Riggs coming in and finding it. For example, one time I added an extra bullet point to "Nuestra missión para hoy" that said, "Carpe Diem! Seize the carp! Grab it by the tail and smack somebody..." It was fun. One day, I decided to draw Däs Ümläütmönster, saying his catchphrase, ,,Ich werde dich essen." I did, however, want Sra. to understand. Hence ist Däs Bilingüäldräwnönäwhiteböärdümläütmönster here gepictüred:


Nöticen Sie this: Even when he äüf Spänisch speäks, thinks he still in his Nätivelängüäge.

How to mess with teachers: A freshperson's guide

In ToK a little while ago, Miss Davey was (for once!) on time to class. She's famous for being a bit unorganized, but only because that's how she functions best. I get the impression that she shares my trait of appearing to be entirely unorganized, but actually can produce whichever form or paper is requested of her from her messy-looking pile without too much trouble. Anyway, she's also known for usually being a couple of minutes late to class, what with having to come from classrooms all around the school. This particular class, however, this was not the case. She proudly arrived about two or three minutes before class was to start, vowing that she would never be late again. She then told us this story:

A short time before the events of the previous paragraph, Miss Davey's organizational skills had gone completely wrong. She ended up being about twenty minutes late for her next class, which was a ninth grade class. During this time, the ninth graders in the class had decided to play a little trick. When she finally arrived, she found every desk in the room turned upside down. They were however still positioned in rows, as always, and there was a freshperson with a notebook patiently awaiting her arrival in each one, ready to take notes on the day's lesson.

She ended the story by promising never to be late again. I give her two days. Miss Davey, if you read this, you may consider that a challenge.

Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, Part XXIII

She didn't eat the animal cracker, she threw it out the window. Thank Harvey. But then it hit Caitlin's car. Caitlin was in the class. I hope that doesn't leave a mark.

"I'm not a distractable person, there's just distracting things that are happening all the time."
-Miss Davey on LTUAE

"Woke up this morning, decided to wear a suit."
-Harvey on wearing a suit

"This is not supposed to be an enjoyable experience."
-Matt B. on IB Orals

"I only remember all the sad, disturbing, inappropriate words."
-Matt B. on Palabras Clave(s)

"Why is there an animal cracker on my projector?"
-Miss Davey on the animal cracker on her projector

"Do you think it's safe to eat this?"
-Miss Davey on the above

"I teach third graders."
-Mr. Giromini on IB1 Fisix

"This is my teacher voice."
-Mr. Giromini on a rubber mallet

"Whom! It was supposed to be whom!"
-Ms. ED on saying 'who' over the PA

"It's like when I walk into your room and have some clue what's going on."
-Mr. Giromini, to Mr. E, on his understanding fisix

"It's making really good sense in my head but I have no idea how it's coming out."
-Mr. Giromini on lecturing

"I'm the only thing that matters."
-Mr. Giromini on LTUAE