Däs Ümläütmönsterdräwingcöntest!

Ich häb' einen Cöntest für whö känn best däs Ümläütmönster dräw tö see häben gedecided. Tödäy wäs ich in Germäncläß, ünd (löng Störy shört) sömeöne in the Cläß themselves ä güt Ümläütmönsterärtist gepröven häs.

It gives severäl Rüles thät müst geföllöwed be:
-The Dräwing müst däs Ümläütmönster ünd pößibly Text süch äs ä Cäptiön öder Tälkbübble inclüde
-It känn öf däs Ümläütmönster der Ömläütmönster öder die Ämläütmönster be. Inventen Sie interesting Wäys tö the öthers dräw, öder mödifyen Sie the existing Öne
-The Deädline ist twö Weeks fröm tömörröw, Freitäg, 13 Febrüäry 2öö9
-It is pößible än Entry in Väriöüswäys tö creäte; män känn by Händ it dräw ünd it in scän, ön the Cömpüter it illüsträte, öder öf sömething möre kreätiv think
-Män känn möre thän öne Entry sübmit
-These Rüles sind tö chänge with keinem Nötice gesübjected; Checken Sie bäck beföre sübmitting yöür Entry für süre thät it still the Rüles föllöws tö be

It gives twö Wäys tö enter:
-Emäilen Sie mich ät josh@OnlyAtIA.com (Förgiven Sie mich: Ümläüts refüse in the Link pröperly tö äppeär) with einem Sübject thät the Pürpöse öf the Meßäge öbviöüs mäkes; ättächen Sie yöür Illüsträtiön äs än Imäge in ä Cömmönfileförmät
-Given Sie mich yöür Entry in Persön

Entries will ön these Criteriä gejüdged be:
-Creätivity
-Üse öf Hümör
-Öriginälity
-Dräwingäbility öder hümöröüs Läckthereöf

Exträpöints will für pröper Üse öf Denglisch in the Meßäge geäwärded be! Klicken Sie the first Link in this Pöst für the Rüles öf Denglisch tö see.

If Sie qüestiöns häve, senden Sie mich einen Emäil ät the Äböveäddreß.

Däs Ümläütmönsterdräwing thät wins will ön the Bäckpäge öf the Överächiever äppeär! It ist älsö ä Pößibility thät it will änöther Mysteryprize give! Ünd it will äwesöme be!

Viel Glück tö everyöne!

When Pigs Fly!

We've been studying circular motion in physics for a while now. In class this past week, Mr. Giromini came into the room and put a stack of papers on his desk. A few minutes into class, he said something to the effect of, "So there's an expression. It's pretty common, you've probably heard it." Upon spotting someone in the back of the room with an iPod, he interrupted himself to say, "Take that out of your ear! Oh no, that's not the expression...! I don't even want to know what that would mean!" At this point, amid the class's laughter, I noticed a translucent box also on his desk, but couldn't see into it. We'll come back to that. He continued, "No, the expression is 'When pigs fly.' As in, 'You'll get some sleep this week, when pigs fly.' Or, 'You'll get a four-point-oh, when pigs fly.'" He went on to name some more examples of the phrase in use, while passing out the stack of papers. To the amusement of the class, it was a lab cover sheet with this at the top:


It said we would have to "collect data on the motion of a flying pig (or some other flying object) that is moving in a horizontal circle while attached to the ceiling by a piece of string" (Lyons et al.). I presently guessed at what was in the box. "This," said Mr. Giromini, removing its lid and producing a battery-operated pig with wings, tied to a string, "is Mr. Lyons' sense of humor." He showed us how the wings really did flap, and rather quickly at that, when it is turned on.

He then said that for those of us that did not want to be seen with a flying pig, he had one fighter jet for the group that wanted it. Gabe called it right away. Mr. Giromini informed us that we should be careful with the front of the jet, as it is pointy.


So we got into groups, and one person from each group went up to get a pig. It was ridiculously entertaining (in that Only at IA way) to watch everyone in the room trying to take measurements of their pig's motion, while also trying not to crack up at the sight. We only needed to measure the height of the pig's path relative to the ceiling and the time it took to make a full circle, so we were done with the measurements pretty quickly. This video might help with the visualization of the scene:

Now imagine that, but with one of those in every corner of the room, and then some. And people trying to get accurcise measurements. Then throw in the whirring of Gabe's fighter jet. After my group was done, I went to investigate the progress of the fighter jet group. The little plane was moving in an almost too perfect to believe circle, having been thrown by Hollis. Observe:

This baffled Gabe, who could not understand how Hollis has gotten it to fly so perfectly. They were done too, so he stopped it (which was a conundrum in itself, what with the aforementioned pointy front and propeller on the back- luckily he managed to touch the prop only once) and tried to throw it thusly himself, to no avail. It kept spinning around and flying backwards. (This point in the story is important. I won't tell you why just yet, but remember it.) I stayed to watch for a while, then went to help my group clean up.

So in the end, pigs flew in circles, measurements were taken, and no one's hand was sliced off by the propeller. I'd say, overall, it was a success.

A quick note on the origin of the media in this post: At about the point where the second video comes is, Mr. Giromini left the room. (To find out where he went, click here.) I really wanted documentation of this event, but Mr. Giromini has a very strict no-phones-in-class-or-I'll-take-them-apart-and-put-the-pieces-in-with-all-the-others-muahaha rule. I debated it with myself for a short while, then decided that he would understand. He didn't come back until the important point in time that I said I would explain later. He adopted a shocked expression and managed to breathe, "Why is your phone out!?" Well maybe that's slightly exaggerated, but not much, and I like the image. Anyway, I explained, "C'mon Mr. Giromini, there are pigs with wings flying around the classroom. It's an Only at IA moment," to which he responded, "Fair enough," and went back to his desk. So now I have proof!

We couldn't just have had a normal poster?

In Mr. Majask's Government/slash/History room, there's a poster with pictures of several different tanks, from different eras and whatnot. It is appropriately entitled, "Tanks." Cue picture of Tanks poster:


Now this is a seemingly normal poster, one that could have been found in virtually any high school. What makes it fit the title of the blog only becomes obvious when we zoom in, and uncensor the area of interest:


Yes. I know. When I pointed this out to Mr. Majask, he told me that he had no idea who had done it- a remark which was preceded by his initial outcry of, "Whaaat!?"

As for the question posed by the title of this post, I happen to like it better this way.

Halloween Passport

It just occurred to me that I should write about the IA's annual Halloween Passport, as it's an important part of the IA, and it's one of those things that make the school what it is. Blah blah...it's not Halloween...blah blah...middle of January...blah blah... whatever. I don't want to wait till October...so use your imagination.

Every year, on Halloween (or the nearest school day) we have a passport (IBan for 'assembly') where we all gather in our big everything room for several events. First comes the costume contest. Everyone who's wearing a costume is invited up by class to be judged, and the judges pick the best few from every class. Then, by applause, the winner for each class is selected. We used to then pick an overall winner, but in the past couple years this hasn't happened. If anyone who has any power over this reads this, know that I liked the overall winner thing and would love to see it brought back. But I digress. I enter every year- it's fun. Freshperson year, I got my costume idea from my cousin, Geoff. He told me to wear whatever I wanted, cover myself with plastic (with a head hole obviously), stick on a receipt and a hanger to the front and back, and go as dry cleaning. I loved the idea, so I did. The trouble is, the passport is at the end of the day. It was pretty hard to keep the costume intact through four class periods, a feat which I only somewhat accomplished. Last (school) year, I got a Sorting Hat from the Halloween store, and added a bicycle brake to make the mouth move, and a speaker complete with recordings of sound clips from the movies such as, "Plenty of courage I see, not a bad mind either. There's talent, oh yes, and a thirst to prove yourself...but where to put you?" It was fun. This year, I went as Joel, the Geico caveman. I had a beard and the hair and a suit, with pins protesting the company. I spent the whole day whining to everyone I saw about how unfair it was that they were staring at me, just because I looked a bit different. I mean, they were even dressing up as us for Halloween, alongside the monsters and ghosts! Ridiculous. But best of all, I got to go up to the lunch ladies at lunch and say, "I'll have the roast duck, with the mango salsa." They got a kick out of that. So I had some fun with that, as you can see. Anyway, enough about me- let's hear from some of my other favorite costumes.

This year, there was a couple dressed as milk and cookies, which was cute. There were also the Seven Deadly Sins- when Miss Davey was going down the line letting everyone announce who they were, one of them, wearing green, said, "Wow, that's a really nice microphone...Oh! Sorry! I'm Envy! Heh heh..." There was a whole group dressed as characters from Sailor Moon one year, with a boom box repeating the theme song. Kellen was a great Mary Poppins in 2006. And several of the teachers always go as M&M's. But the one that really springs to mind is the one that won the school wide contest in 2006. He was in a large gift box with wrapping paper on it, and his head was sticking out, with a large bow tied on top. The tag hanging off said simply, "TO: Women FROM: God"

After the costume contest, there are a few different activities including the monster dress-up contest, in which each class nominates a few people to go up to the front, and one must be dressed/made up by the others using the limited (and purposefully comical) items at hand. Although it's really funny, it’s funny in the only-if-you-know-them sort of way. But that doesn't make it any less fun:)

Finally, the departments face off against each other in a relay race. There is a long running joke at IA about how every teacher thinks their subject is hands-down the best, most useful and most important subject that students will ever learn. So this event is an important chance to prove themselves superior. Two people represent each department, and the first task is for one person to completely wrap the other in two full rolls of toilet paper. By now, the science department has gotten it (can you feel it coming?) down to a science, having the wrapper run in circles while the wrapee spins in place. They almost always finish this first, and therefore are the first to proceed to the second and final task. On the other side of the room, there are several doughnuts hanging from strings in the air. The wrapper must run down to them and eat the entire doughnut, with his or her hands behind his or her back. Two moments come to mind: First, Mrs. Byrge's doughnut falling on the floor after she realized too late that she had bitten it in such a way that broke the doughnut's hold on the string. Yes, she had to eat it off the floor, still with her hands behind her back. The second, (my favorite of the two,) is when Sra. Riggs and Mr. Florinski were competing to eat the doughnut first. Mr. Flo was a counselor at IA for only a year, as sadly he wasn't able to sell his house and had to move back to the UP. He is very tall. To illustrate this point, I must veer off topic a bit: Once in Freshman Orientation, Mr. Flo came into a class of freshpeople to explain who he was and how he could help them as a counselor. He concluded by asking if they had any questions for him. A student raised a hand to ask, in awe, "How tall are you?" I think he answered 6'7, but don’t quote me. Anyway, he's tall. Next to him, Sra. might as well have been standing on her knees. To this day I'm not quite sure how it happened, but Sra. ended up with one of the highest doughnuts, and Mr. Flo with one of the lowest. It was hilarious watching Sra. literally having to jump off the ground to reach hers, while Mr. Flo was bent down almost to his waist to get at his a few feet away.

I'm sorry this post is so long (it's actually over a thousand words...yikes) but I felt it was worth it.

IAtionary: Accurcise

Ac-cur-cise [ak-yr-SAHYS] adj.

1. Of or relating to accuracy and/or precision
2. Used to describe a measurement that is both accurate and precise: that is, one that is close to the accepted value and sufficiently exact; It is difficult to get a measurement that is accurate or precise when Mr. Giromini is violently shaking my desk, so getting one that is accurcise is impossible.

Language of Origin: Fisixian

Also: Accurcision n.

Alternate spelling: Praccurate

The Swimming Pool Question

Every year at Freshman Orientation, several current students go in to help out, and to tell the incoming freshpeople what life at the IA is like. I always volunteer, as I think it's a really fun way to get to know the incoming freshpeople, and it's a nice transition from summer to the school year. One of the activities we do to help them get acquainted with each other is an interview. Each person in the group (of about 30 who are in any given classroom at any given time) must pick a partner to interview. If there's an odd number I'll be with a freshperson, and if there's an even number I'm usually with another volunteer. The questions are usually something like, "What district are you from?" "What is one strength you will bring to the IA?" "What is one fear you have about the IA?" "What is one interesting fact that few people here know about you?" and my favorite, "If you had an empty swimming pool that you could fill with anything you wanted, (besides water,) what would you fill it with and why?" The interesting part is that you have to pretend to be your partner. For example, let's say that two people named Joe and Bob are partners. Joe would say, "Hi I'm Bob from Rochester, and I will bring my great sense of humor to the IA. I'm scared of all the homework. I...err...hey- what's my interesting fact again? Oh yeah, right...I have been to four different continents. And I would fill my swimming pool with money." Then Bob would do the same, pretending to be Joe. For the last question, money is a very popular answer. There are, however, many interesting ones. Several people always ask if they have to pay for whatever they put in. If they don't, gasoline is a surprisingly popular answer. They say the can sell it when the price goes up some more. A lot of people say books, too. One time I was partners with a girl from IA East named Elizabeth. That ended with me saying, "My name's Elizabeth and I'd fill my pool with hot guy models." Thanks Elizabeth. Anyway, I've taken to saying that I'd fill mine with liquid dihydrogen monoxide, to scare the guests. It's funny to hear them try to pronounce it. And besides, there's almost always one who gets it.

Mein äwesöme neü Büddyicön

Ich häb' jüst einen äwesöme neü Büddyicön gemäde, ünd ich thöüght ich wöüld it with eüch shäre, seeing äs it ist sömewhät relevänt. Ich like it, ünd ich häb' it äll by myself in Fläsh fröm the Pictüre thät yöü will if yöü häst the recent Link geclicked see gecreäted. Hier ist it (geenlärged für Textüre tö shöw):

IAtionary: Celebration of Learning

Cel-e-bra-tion of Learn-ing [sel-uh-BRAY-shun ov lurn-ing] n.

1. A test, especially one that includes material from several units such as a midterm or final
2. An exam on which the teacher is confidant that the students will do reasonably well
3. A euphemism for the IBan term "cumulative assessment"

Language of Origin: Girominian

Antonym:

Cel-e-bra-tion of Ig-nor-ance [sel-uh-bray-shun ov IG-nor-ens] n.

1. An exam on which the teacher is confidant that the students will do reasonably poorly

See also: Examyo

IAtionary: Examyo

Ex-am-yo [eks-AM-yoh] n.

1. A type of test used to stimulate interest in the class by incorporating terms such as, "Say what?" "Pwned," "Oughta," and, "In the house."

Language of Origin: Girominian

See also: Celebration of Learning

In class the other day:

Gabe: So you're giving us an exam, yo?

Mr. Giromini: No, I'm giving you an exam. I'm not sure what an examyo is.

He also pointed out that someone would pronounce it [eks-am-EE-oh]- don't let it be you.

The University of Snickers

I was looking through the pics I had on my phone and I came across this one, which I took some time ago in physics class.


It was a while ago, and it's too bad I forgot about it for so long, but I'll try to remember it as correctly as possible. Subhash was wearing this shirt, with this logo in the corner, pretty small. Mr. Giromini was going about his business as usual until he noticed it, after which he made Subhash stand up so he could examine it. He said something along the lines of, "I coulda sworn there was a Snickers bar on your shirt!" then proceeded to complain about suddenly craving a Snickers. He almost went to the cafeteria to get one, but alas, he had a class to teach, so he refrained. I'm sure there's an observation about the way his mind works in here somewhere, but I can't quite seem to find it...

He really does have a 'funny' sense of humor, in both senses of the word

We recently had a test in Spanish Language Culture. The class is over now, as it is a semester class (AHH!!! NOO!!! Mr. Stibitz was a good 40% of my SFAOOCQ section!!! Well, I'll still see him around,) and we got the test back yesterday. He told me I couldn't write anything about it till we got it back, but now that there's no potential for "academic malpractice," (Mr. IB) I have the green light. He even printed me off a blank copy of the parts I wanted. Thanks Mr. Stibitz:)

Anyway, Mr. Stibitz has this funny way of making a lot of the questions jokes, but putting in just enough actual questions that you still need to study. We've been studying the Spanish Civil War, and the cover of the test looked like this (because of the unfortunate shape of some of these pics, especially the second one, I recommend click-to-enlarge-ing):


No one in the class had ever seen this picture before, but we didn't think much of it. The first question on the test was as follows:


Hey! He gave us the answer! Sweet... So we flipped back to the cover, checked the dates, and promptly answered A. However, when our eyes proceeded to the next question:


Shoot!

Well the picture looks like the death of a militiaman...but...could the dates be wrong? Or not? Or...

So we played Mr. Stibitz's mind game for a while, but eventually decided to leave the answer to 1 as A. I say 'we' because he said that not a single person in the class got question 1 wrong. Thank Harvey.

Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, Part XIII

Isn't it funny how it's possible to have to wait two and a half weeks between parts XI and XII, and get XIII two days later? Eh, Harvey wills it.

It's very common to see me everywhere in the building except where I'm supposed to be."
-Mr. Giromini

"If you don't know what you don't know, you'll never know what you actually know."
-Gabe on IB History

"If you think about it, it actually makes sense."
-Gabe on the above

"I am Darth Giromini and I approve this message."
-Mr. Giromini

"There should be an embargo on those things. They should only import blue and black ones."
-Mr. Stibitz on my bright orange German pen

"Good, might as well get a head start."
-Mr. Giromini on making shadows feel bad about themselves

"You insult people by combining a food with a body part."
-Amisha on calling me a picklehead

"There's a picture in my head- I have to go to Google Images and see if it exists."
-Mr. Giromini on Google taking over the world

"Because I don't know what to do with you."
-Mr. Giromini on giving us worksheets

"I'm too smart for my own good."
-Mr. Giromini on LTUAE

It's Animal Crossing, by Harvey!

Animal Crossing is one of my favorite video games ever. If you've never played it, this obsession will make no sense to you. I've been there. "A game with no purpose? You just have to pay off your mortgage!?" But once you play it, trust me, it's amazing. If you have, you know what I mean. If you haven't: You start off as a character who has just moved out of his/her parents' house, and are off to build a life of your own. You move to a town that you can name, and buy a house, which you can decorate as you like, and have to earn money to pay it off if you want to upgrade to a bigger house. There are other residents of the town; some will like you and some won't. You can do whatever you want: if you want to set a goal to catch every kind of fish, or be as rich as possible, or even make everyone in your town hate you, you can. The best and worst part is that it's in real time. For example, the store closes at 10pm, and if you play after that you can't go in. Or if you want to go to the morning aerobics classes, you actually have to get up, in real life, at 7am. There are also all sorts of events, like a reindeer who comes to give out presents on Christmas Eve. It's an absolutely brilliant game, with a lot of depth.

What's up with the review of Animal Crossing? you are no doubt asking. What's this got to do with the IA? Hold on, I'm getting there. In the game, every character has a 'catchphrase' that they always say. In the new version for the Wii, (that I just got for the holidays- YES!) one character's catchphrase when you first meet them is 'cagey.' So, cagey, they will throw it into their sentences when they talk to you. They also often use it at the end for emphasis, cagey! After you've known them for a while, they will say that someone told them it sounds dumb, or that they are sick of saying it too much. They will then ask you to come up with a new catchphrase for them to say instead, which can be whatever you want. Naturally, to everyone who's asked me, I've responded with "by Harvey." I love how well it fits into what they say! With my sister's help, I had the idea to use the game's screen capture feature to prove it.

In this first one, I (isn't my little character cute with his awesome goggles! I got them at the tailor's for like 200 bells or something. That's next to nothing.) am talking to Gladys about how you can crossbreed flowers to make a new species:



Here Mott is commenting on the awesomeness of the aforementioned goggles:



And finally, in the new version, City Folk, characters sometimes tell you that they think it would be cool if you could come up with a secret greeting that only the two of you know. They'll then say it to you the first time they see you each day. I have to admit I cheated a little- I have the same 'secret greeting' with about three people.

Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, Part XII

So it's been a while...but I set a record yesterday (I think) for collecting the most Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes in a single day. Five. And four of them are from Mr. Giromini. I can't remember ever getting more, so that stands as the record. If it's ever challenged, I'll let you know. Hey! A Mr. Giromini-free quotes post! No way! I'll add the Mr. Giromini's Corner label anyway, just for the irony.

"I would really like to know what you're talking about 'cause then I wouldn't, like, be so confused."
-Julia on Marie's manner of speaking

"A test a day keeps the students away!"
-Gabe on IB History

"The first phrase I learned in German was 'A mi no me gusta Deutsch.'"
-Alex on the Spanish for 'I don't like Deutsch'

"We'll figure that out somehow."
-Mr. Stibitz on Moodle

"It just kinda blends into all the other annoying things in this class."
-Mr. Stibitz on my LED flashlight

"I'd rather be bored than...learn!"
-Ray on the fact the the ... represents a pause, not removed words

It should have been fourty-two

I was in SLC the other day and one of my friends came over and showed me a piece of paper with this on it:


He asked if I knew how to solve it. Not waiting for an answer, he said it was equal to 6. Upon seeing my puzzlement at his solution, he then proceeded to prove it:

Pictures 'n' Stuff, Part III

So it's been a while in the Pictures 'n' Stuff department, since I've only found two pictures to put down there. I wanted to put up a third, but for some reason I couldn't get it to work. It was really weird- I put it on and it would only show up like half the time. Whatever. For a more detailed explanation of the problem, click here, and learn to appreciate my mastery of named anchors. I decided to include it in this post anyway, so I hope it works. OK so I found the first one, naturally, on the content-free encyclopedia (see also: this), and the second is in IA's yearbook room. The third is thanks to the "blog," more specifically this "post." I still don't have any more to put up...so the Pictures 'n' Stuff section will reappear at the bottom of the page when I do.

IAtionary: aHarvey

a-Har-vey [ah-HAHR-vee] inj.

1. A parting used between Harveyists
2. A way to wish someone who one will not likely see for some time luck, while also paying respect to Harvey

Language of Origin: French to Spanish to Martian

The French and Spanish words adios and adieu both come from the same idea. a means "to" in both languages, and Dios and Dieu are the words for God. So, naturally, this had to come next. And unlike the Romance languages, we always capitalize the H.

Useless fact of the day: "Goodbye" was originally a contraction of the phrase "God be with ye." But sadly, I can't see a way to put in Harvey's name without sounding ridiculous... Harveybye? Harbye? Hoodbye? No. Suggestions? Please.

Two for one

The very first novel we read in English this year was Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison. Without giving away too much of the ending for anyone who may read it in the future, an important event at the end happens on a hill. We don't know much about the hill, but it's size might have affected the meaning of the book, as the ending is purposefully a bit unclear, and the distance between two characters at the end might have mattered. However, Morrison chooses not to tell us the size of the hill, and leave it up to us. The first class period after we had been assigned to read the ending, we were discussing how this ambiguity affects the meaning of the novel. Someone raised a hand to ask, "How far was Character A from Character B when that happened?" Mrs. Saxsma responded with, "Seventeen feet." When she was asked how she knew that, she answered, "It's in the teacher's edition of Song of Solomon." It took the class a while to figure out that she was kidding, and the looks on our faces were quite entertaining.


Now we're reading a novel called Chronicle of a Death Foretold by Gabriel García Márquez, in which the narrator returns to a town 27 years after a murder took place to investigate it by talking to the people of the town and gathering evidence. It's very interesting, because the only information we have is very unreliable, as it was only recorded 27 years later. The townspeople could not even agree on whether it was raining or not, so how are they supposed to agree about who is to blame for the death of Santiago Nasar? We were discussing this very point in class a few weeks ago, before break. Mrs. Saxsma asked someone in the class what they had had for breakfast a week ago on a specific day of the week. They couldn't remember. She asked someone else what they had had for dinner on a different specific day. They couldn't remember. She then said, paraphrasedly, "Does anyone remember what the weather was 27 years ago? Well, none of you were born, but still, how could you know?" A kid in the class then proceeded to point out that it was probably "Cold, 'cause there was no global warming."

There you go. Two for one.

Look what I can do with HTML

In German, we just learned the verb dürfen, 'to be allowed to.' Billy and Frank Wang are both students in the class. Frau Boyle was leading an exercise involving the verb. (Möüsen Sie över the Text för it aüf Englisch tö see.)

Fräü Böyle, gepäräphräsed: Und was darfst du nicht in meinem Klassenzimmer machen?

Billy: Pizza essen.

Student A: Schlafen.

Billy: Frank Wang essen.

You cant believe how hard the entire class started laughing.

And yes, he said it on purpose.

"Does Absolutely Nothing"

Quite some time ago, Mr. Stibitz overheard a group of people, which included me, talking about Pokémon in SLC. He decided to join the conversation, and actually surprised us by knowing far more about the subject than anyone had expected. This he attributed to his having kids, but nonetheless it was amusing to quiz Mr. Stibitz on Pokémon-related trivia, so naturally that's just what we took to doing. He knew the name of the evolved form of Pikachu, and most of the other random questions we asked him- I think he even knew a bit about the various evolved forms of Eevee. We asked him what his favorite Pokémon was, and he promptly responded with, "Magikarp." For anyone who doesn't know, Magikarp is a fish Pokémon who does absolutely nothing. The only reason anyone ever wants it is because of its more powerful evolved form, Gyarados. This is what the all-knowing Wikipedia has to say on the subject:

Magikarp is a commonly found Pokémon that can survive in rivers, lakes, and oceans.... [T]he Pokédex states that the Magikarp species...is the least viable for battling in the series....Magikarp is commonly thought of as the weakest Pokémon. They are only able to learn three moves: Splash (does absolutely nothing), Tackle (a weak attack), and Flail (which does more damage as Magikarp is more damaged.) ... In the anime, Magikarp has appeared several times, most notably as the subject of a running gag in which a salesman attempts to trick Team Rocket into buying Magikarp...

I think "which does more damage as Magikarp is more damaged" is supposed to mean that it does more harm to the opponent if Magikarp is in worse shape. And he picked that one as his favorite Pokémon of all. It's not quite tangible, but I can somehow imagine Mr. Stibitz and Magikarp agreeing on many aspects of LTUAE. Anyway, Monday in class, I was telling someone that Magikarp is his favorite Pokémon, and they didn't believe me. I called to Mr. Stibitz: "Hey Mr. Stibitz, what's you're favorite Pokémon?" He proclaimed that he had him with him, them took out his wallet. There was a Magikarp card in it. He said he was planning to build an entire army of just Magikarps, then put it back, right behind his driver's license. But not before I could convince him to let me get a picture. There. Now I have proof.


Today I asked him if he still had it with him. He did. And he said that he saw it mentioned on the show that Magikarp was the weakest Pokémon. He picked it as his favorite to annoy his kids. He said it worked. Wow. (Sentence fragments. Good device. Will be used more here.)

IAtionary: Loading Your Personal Settings

Load-ing Your Per-son-al Set-tings [lohd-ing-yohr-per-sohn-uhl-SET-tingz] v.

1. Giving the required percentage of my time to performing secret government calculations
2. Scanning for any trace of personalization you have tried to install on me, including but not limited to screen savers, wallpapers, games, and Firefox as the default browser, and taking whatever action is necessary and proper necessary to remove them
3. Deciding that starting now would deprive you of some quality waiting time, and that everything happening too quickly would take the value out of life

Language of Origin: Microsoft (Windows dialect)

Like I said, the computers at IA are known to be pretty slow. Oddly, most of the time they take to boot up and login is usually spent on a screen that says "Loading Your Personal Settings." The thing is, we're not allowed to have any personal settings. This let me to question what it could actually be doing during this time...the theories I came up with are above.

IAtionary: Common Sense Theorem

Com-mon Sense Theor-em [kah-mohn-sehns-theer-uhm] n.

1. The theorem used to justify a mathematical argument, saying that it is obvious to anyone looking at the situation and needs no further rationale; Can you explain why angle ABC is equal to angle CBA? Well, they're the same angle, so I just used the Common Sense Theorem.
2. A handy substitute for things such as CPCTC, Vertical Angles, Supplementary Angles, The Fundamental Theorem of Calculus, and Thinking.

Language of Origin: Math

At least your gastrointestinal problems aren't getting worse

I'm in a carpool with 3 other kids, and we're always arguing about something, in that fun "You know I actually like you, right?" sort of way. One (we'll call him Student A) speaks German, and another (let's be creative...she'll be Student B) does not. Student B is known to be a bit, well, in-your-face, for lack of a better term. On the ride home from school a while ago, they were trading their usual insults.

A: Du bist agressiv!
B: Josh, what's that mean? (I'm in first year German, if you didn't know that. Actually, I'm in first year German even if you did know that.)
Me: You're aggressive.
B: Thanks. Student A do you really think that's an insult!? Please!
A: Du bist agressive, hässlich, und dumm!
B: Josh?
Me: You're aggressive ugly and dumb.
B: Thanks. STUDENT A!!!!!!

She then returned to yelling at him for the remainder of the car ride, which was only a couple of minutes. The amazing part is how calmly she thanked me for saying that she is aggressive ugly and dumb, before returning to yell at him with all her usual vigor. This is one that you have to let yourself hear in your head; try imagining her changing her tone so quickly...it really is quite entertaining. Also, after Student B had gotten out of the car, Student A congratulated me on my German comprehension skills. That made me feel gut.

:)

P.S. If the title seems really random to you, check out one of my all-time favorite posts here