More Failure

I was reading failblog today and these were so funny I had to share them. We have a long weekend, and there won't be much IA-related stuff till Wednesday, so here you go:

Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, Part VI

"You have been banished to the outside of the atom. You stay in your valence electrons- the nucleus is ours."
Mr. Giromini on chemistry

"Let's pretend for a moment that I teach in a place somewhere between the nerd school and the regular school, where I get all the good behavior of the nerd school but none of the nerdiness."
-Mr. Giromini on our arguing about the effects of air resistance on whether a physics or bio book would fall faster

"And by funny I mean stupid."
-Mr. Giromini

"It's in Spanish. It's in code."
-Mr. Stibitz on our inability to understand one of his classroom copies

"They band together to aid!"
-Sudheer on the nature and purpose of Band-Aids

"I wanna go up to my parents and say 'Your generation did this on a TV set and a box the size of my head!'"
-Caitlin S. on playing Pong on the iPod Touch

"I walk into the teachers' office and say 'Obama sucks!' They go nuts!"
-Mr. Giromini on being an instigator among the IA staff

"Would you three stop? And by three I mean two? And by two I mean Shane?"
-Mr. Giromini on that annoying noise Shane makes

"Imitation is the sincerest form of plagiarism" (IB, 1).

Works Cited

IB, Mr. The IB Curriclum. 1st ed. Vol. 1. London: Modern Language Association, 1996. 1.

Yes, I've decided to include that quote that's been over there <=== forever...for basically the same reason. I want to keep it, but I want the space back. Yay.

IAtionary: Freshperson

Fresh-per-son [fresh-PUR-suhn] n.
1. A member of the freshman class
2. (rarely) Someone new to IA, or behaving as such

Irregular plural: freshpeople or (rarely) freshpersons

Language of Origin: Daveyan

Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, Part VS (Five and a half)

I wanted to put this under SFAOOCQ but I needed to include the pic for it to make sense- so it's by itself at number 5 and a half. BTW according to a very reliable source, S is one half.

"It's the area of a goldfish!"
-Alan on this page in the math textbook:

Pictures 'n' Stuff, Part II

These are the three pics that have been at the bottom of the page for a while. I don't want my main page getting too cluttered, so I'm transferring them to a post like I said I would. I'm putting the Flow Chart at the top 'cause I think it's the funniest:) Here they are:








Click to see bigger versions of all but the middle one:)

IAtionary: Grüß Harvey

Grüß Har-vey [Grooss HAHR-vee] inj.

1. A greeting commonly used by Austrian Harveyists, and later adopted by Harveyists worldwide who cannot properly perform the Martian word for 'hello'
2. A way to greet someone while simultaneously showing respect to Harvey

Language of Origin: Deutsch

"Grüß Gott," literally meaning "Greetings to God," is frequently used by German speakers in Austria and southern Germany. Although the laws of Harveyism dictate that the Martian greeting is the official version, this is a handy alternative when the Martian version is impossible due to the circumstance.

IAtionary: Fliegen Nach Wien

Fliegen Nach Wien [FLEE-gən nach veen] v.

1. To travel to a generic, unimportant place
2. To perform any unspecified action
3. Used to excuse oneself from explaining where they are going
4. Literally: to fly to Vienna

Language of Origin: Deutsch

This term comes from the fact that, in the German book we use, Neue Horizonte, it seems as if everyone flies to Vienna. Fliegen, to fly, was one of our first vocab words, and in every example involving it, someone ends up in Vienna. For example, it is common for a question to be something like this:

Person A: Hallo! Was machst du morgen? (Hello! What are you doing tomorrow?)
Person B: Oh, ich _______ nach Wien um 7 Uhr. (Oh, I ______ to Vienna at 7 o'clock.)

We would have to supply the word 'fliege,' meaning 'fly.' The book never uses Berlin, Ulm, Frankfurt, always Vienna. It's not even in Germany! It's so common that we figure that Vienna must have an overpopulation problem, as no example ever mentions anyone having recently returned from Vienna. So it's kinda become a joke between a few people in my German class. Like if I go to the bathroom, when I get back Student A will ask me where I went and I'll reply with "Ich fliege nach Wien." So I thought it was worthy of induction into the IAtionary. Got to go- I'm flying to Vienna tonight.

Edit: Actually, according to the most important law of German grammar, (,,Äll Infinitiveverbs müst ät the End öf the Sentence cöme,") it should really be Nach Wien Fliegen. But I like it the way it is.

:ß

Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, Part V

This is the Mr. Stibitz edition- almost every paper he hands out is a classroom copy, and it gets difficult to remember not to write on them sometimes!

"This is a classroom copy."
-Mr. Stibitz on wasting paper

"This is a classroom copy."
-Mr. Stibitz on global warming

"This is a classroom copy."
-Mr. Stibitz on the usefulness of Moodle

"This is a classroom copy."
-Mr. Stibitz on life, the universe, and everything

"This is a classroom copy."
-Mr. Stibitz on the Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes section

"This is a classroom copy."
-Mr. Stibitz on why the copier is broken

"This is a classroom copy."
-Mr. Stibitz on this being a classroom copy

Proper Grammar?

Mr. Stibitz gave us this rubric for an assignment we had to do in Spanish Language Culture. He insists that he did it on purpose to see if we would notice, but I'm a bit suspicious of that. Also notice the phrase "includes underlined and responds to quote..." Huh? And that's not capitalized. Ahhh, Sr. Stibitz, ¿porqué?

Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, Part IV

Whoa, that went fast...I guess I've just heard a lot of quotes these past two days. And about the second one, Mr. Stibitz was not talking about his name, he was talking about something else entirely, and he didn't remember if he had used his name as the password or not. But its funnier that way, and that's the point of Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes. Besides, the 'on his name' thing was Zack's idea.

"Trees are meant to die for your education. It's their purpose in life, except for the oxygen thing."
-Mr. Giromini on wasting paper

"Stibitz- that's what they're telling me."
-Mr. Stibitz on his name

"That's why we have hour and a half classes- 'cause our computers are slow!"
-Mr. Giromini

"Why do we have so many pages?"
-Bri on opening a book to page 466

"I'm gonna be famous!"
-Bri on her admittance to the fun and out-of-context quotes section

"Oooooooo"
-Sudheer

"[The test is] a week from Tuesday, so don't freak out until about eight days from now."
-Mr. Stibitz, on a Monday

IAtionary: Espotter

Es-pot-ter [es-SPOT-er, es-poh-TAIR]

1. The Spanglish word for someone designated to keep another from falling and hurting themselves on the Ropes Course

Rough Translation: Spotter

Language of Origin: Espanglés to Stibitian

The Spanish Honor Society (SHH- it's in Spanish) was at the Ropes Course, and Mr. Stibitz was supervising my group. We are supposed to speak only Spanish, but none of us knew how to say 'spotter.' We asked Mr. S how to say it, and he said "espotter," using the first pronunciation above- said like the letter S then the word spotter. One of the leaders of the SHH pointed out that, according to the accent rules of Spanish, the stress would fall on the final syllable, and we proceeded to use the second pronunciation above. When it was time to switch activities, Sra. Riggs came by and heard us using the word. When we explained, she laughed, then realized that she didn't know how to say spotter either. So we kept using espotter. I asked Mr. Stibitz how to spell it today- despite the Spanish tendancy to only use one T when there is one T sound, Mr. Stibitz said it was spelled with two. And he still uses the original pronounciation.

Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, Part III

Things of Importance:

-Congrats to Winnernerd for making it into the elite group of people quoted here.
-Lizzy, we still don't have the money, somehow or anyhow
-And yes, Mr. Stibitz, it did really happen- otherwise how is the chicken born? Wait...wrong paradox...sorry

Here you go:

"Either put that meterstick down or make it look like you're doing science!"
-Mr. Giromini

"People can hear everything I'm saying, but they only respond when they feel like responding."
-Sudheer

"If a tree falls in a wood, and you see it, and you put it back up, did it really happen?"
-Mr. Stibitz

"By Jove, I don't think this boat is moving!"
-Winnernerd

"Just pretend it's a normal class."
-Mr. Stibitz

"We'll get the money somehow."
-Lizzy, Fearless Leader of Fisix Club

"And then you rub your head on this can."
-Shane

Plan Ahead

This one I heard from my Gov/History teacher yesterday. I'll do my best to get it right- I wasn't there, so don't expect exact quotes:) Let's set the scene:

When: A few years ago, soon after IA had been rated the #1 high school in the country by Newsweek
Where: The front office
Who: Mr. Majask, Ms. Arrola, the unidentified lady on the phone
Why: Who knows? It's IA, ok?
What:

The aforementioned people, along with one or two more teachers who Mr. Majask didn't mention, are in the office when the phone rings. Ms. Arrola picks it up, and it seems to be a prospective parent asking about the IA. She answers questions about the entrance requirements, like the test and the lottery. "Yes, your child has to pass the math placement test, and get into your district's lottery...Well that depends on the district you live in...No, each district has its own number of seats..." The lady on the phone asks about which district would be best to live in. Ms. Arrola again explains how the lottery works, and that the student has to enter the lottery in the district he or she goes to school in. "Wait, what grade is your child in?...OK, can I put you on hold for just a moment? Thank you." Ms. Arrola leans back against her chair in defeat. When asked what happened, she replies, "She is seven months pregnant."

And yes, for those of you who will ask, it was verified that that child was the one she wanted to go to IA. For a clever way to end the post, please see "Why," above.

Fisix Club Agenda...with a cameo by Lizzy's hand

I walked in to Fisix Club today to find...this. Fisix Club has recently been kinda known not to be able to accomplish anything. This is the epitome of that, no?