Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, Part XXIX

We spent a good ten to fifteen minutes in fisix class yesterday talking about 'fisix examples gone awry.' It was quite entertaining; Mr. Lyons has a vast store of them. When we talk about electric current he compares the electrons to sugar-crazed kindergartners running around chaotically, but having a net displacement when we tip the floor of the kindergarten room. Then we usually introduce voltage by picking up the kindergarteners at the bottom of the room and placing them at the top, and resistance by inserting all sorts of things for them to smash into. I also like the school dance analogy for resistance: when there is fast music (high temperature) playing, there are people going in every direction like crazy, and it would be very difficult to run across the dance floor. When a slower song (lower temperature) comes on, the electrons pair up and move slowly, generally not going too far from one spot, and sometimes going far too close to each other. Now it's much easier to run across the dance floor. When things cool down enough, it becomes a middle school dance, and the boys run to one side of the room and the girls to the other, leaving no one on the dance floor and nothing to block the runner's way: hence, superconductivity. The first quote here obviously resulted from our class' lack of Mr. Lyons as a ninth grade fisix teacher...so that's about all the context I can give you. And besides, who needs context anyway? Read the title, people.

"I never taught you guys projectile motion, so we never bombed the orphanage. Which was located next to the bomb factory. Which was where the kids worked."
-Mr. Lyons on the bizarre analogies he uses in class

"I would pay to never see that again."
-Mr. Lyons on Quidditch

"When it looks like a photo-negative rainbow, it's a bruise."
-Abby on Marie's and my argument about the definition of a bruise following her horse-related concussion

"It was a perfect linear function."
-Mr. Lyons on his falling grade in his college Ancient Greek class

"It's obeyed about as much as most laws in this country are."
-Mr. Lyons on Ohm's Law

"Oh, you got a thirty-three, are you taking it again?"
-A typical IA student on the ACT

"Todos los problemas del mundo son masculinos."
-Sra. Riggs on the word problema being masculine

"You love this word 'cause you think you're swearing."
-Frau Boyle on the German word for 'bright'

"Don't run means stop running!"
-Srta. Fernández on insubordination in the hallway